What did Andy Van Slyke ever do for you? I didn't know Marshall Faulk hadn't retired yet. The new Blues are 1-0. Brad Boyes jerseys are being shipped to your house as we speak. Metropolit jerseys are sold out. And Ville Nieminen doesn't think he'll be around long, therefore he has suggested not wasting money on his jersey...unless, of course, you want to remember the Ville Nieminen era in St. Louis. J-Rod's still out, Ankiel is still in. Has there been any Willie Ponder sitings in Cape? Semosportsweb.com's fantasy baseball mock draft had Albert Pujols going #1, Chris Carpenter at #2, and Adam Wainwright taking #3. Guys like Ryan Howard and Jose Reyes filled in from there. Kent Bottenfield has a new career as a Christian rock musician, but whatever happened to Donovan Osborne? If you add the glamor of Richard Dreyfus and the curves of Carmen Electra, you get Adam Wainwright's breaking ball.
IS IT SAFE TO SAY:
*The Melvin Watkins era at Mizzou will forever be remembered?
*Vonnie Holiday and his $20 million dollar contract with the Dolphins wasn't a good idea?
*You don't know who Vonnie Holiday is?
*Fans in Boston are wondering what the hell Dennis Wideman is doing on their team, and not Brad Boyes?
Ok fine, you want to know what Andy Van Slyke has done for us? Well, there was that time he cheated in his own charity golf tournament. He was playing in the final group and was collecting the "closest to the pin" sticks when, as witnessed by three others, he wrote his name on one of the sticks and won money he didn't earn. The true winner was on the verge of bankruptcy, no lie. But Van Slyke needed that money. There have been other things, and if you're ever in the mood for some good Andy Van Slyke bashing listen to the BIG 550 from 4-6 as you pass through St. Louis. Kevin Slaten loves him. But lately?.....well he said this about our favorite prophecy child, Chris Duncan: "Average at worst? He might be average at best, not worst. Some things just aren't going to happen." Andy Van Slyke....SHUT THE HELL UP. What he hell does Andy Van Slyke know about Chris Duncan, seriously? Just because Slyke couldn't hack it a different position, say third?, doesn't mean Chris Duncan isn't going to win a gold glove this year.
The Blues play at the Islanders tonight. Boyes, Nieminen, and Metropolit will be in uniform. If you don't watch this game, then you're friends with Andy Van Slyke.
Chew Big Red.
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