Who wants to be the most dysfunctional family in America? The Spears Family raises their hand from the front row. Tara Reid is bordering on cracked-out "I can't get no room service," pyscho-woman. The chances of Barry Bonds DHing next year in the sorry-excuse-for-a-baseball league AL are getting slimmer by the denial. Luther Bond. Roger Clemens and the 60 Minute Interview that will live in infamy. Jackson High School basketball at the Christmas Tournament. Sikeston High School Hoops in the semosportsweb high school hoops poll. Matt Clement in a better looking red. Mark Mulder's recovery. Chris Carpenter's recovery. That son-of-a-gun Aaron Miles - who's always on base. The poor folks in Nevada and the gamblers in Las Vegas. Marion Jones and her bombshell self having to give it all back. Rhode Island basketball. Bron-Bron and Kobe-yashi. Kariya Blues, Timo, and Dreyfus.
What's fatter? The lies of Roger Clemens or Jennifer Love Hewitt's ass on a tabloid cover?
Is it safe to say:
*Kansas still didn't deserve a spot in a BCS game?
*All the chatter from Illinois fans to Mizzou fans at the Border War game concerning Illinois' bid to the rose bowl has been hushed by the mighty Trojans?
*The parents of the young man who impregnated the youngest Spears' child don't know whether to be angry or confused: how much money can they get out of this?
*With the addition of Matt Clement, the Cardinals still haven't reloaded their rotation?
Quips:
Greg Cote, Miami Herald: “This just in. Bobby Petrino, who jilted the Atlanta Falcons for Arkansas, and Rich Rodriguez, who dumped West Virginia for Michigan, have been named co-winners of the 2007 Nick Saban Integrity Award.”
David Caraviello, NASCAR.com: “The purists are howling. They fire off e-mails about Toyota and Juan Montoya that border on racist. They want to know why the Nationwide Series dares to compete in Canada and Mexico, when there are perfectly fine tracks here in the good ol’ USA. They start tossing out references to Pearl Harbor at the mere mention of a Camry. . . . They want to know what all these foreigners like Dario Franchitti and Jacques Villeneuve are doing in a series that was supposed to be all-American.”
Mark Kriegel, FoxSports.com: “Trent Edwards, rookie out of Stanford, threw for more touchdowns than Matt Leinart, Heisman winner out of USC. Then again, so did Vinny Testaverde, who won the Heisman midway through Ronald Reagan’s second term.”
Jay Mariotti, Chicago Sun-Times: “As feared, this was The Stepdaddy of Them All, the biggest Hollywood mismatch since the babe and fat guy in ‘Knocked Up.’ As feared, this was USC’s ‘first scrimmage of next season,’ as mouthy alum Keyshawn Johnson had woofed. As feared, the Fighting Illini were blown out of the 2008 Rose Bowl almost as badly as they were blown out of the 1984 Rose Bowl, which suggests they try the Outback Bowl or Champs Sports Bowl next time.”
Greg Cote, Miami Herald: “In Thursday’s Orange Bowl Classic, I like Virginia Tech over Kansas in a close game. Unless the result is determined by the two coaches in an all-you-can-eat buffet. Then I will take KU’s Mark Mangino. Big. Really big.The payout to both OBC teams will be worth millions. Kansas is expected to break even, after deductions for Mangino’s meals per diem.”
Mark Kriegel, FoxSports.com: “Los Angeles Galaxy president and general manager Alexi Lalas proclaimed that David Beckham would have a greater impact on the landscape of American sport than Tiger Woods or Michael Jordan. Becks, as he is known, played a total of 252 minutes for the Galaxy, approximately 40 minutes less than the press conference to introduce him and wife Posh.”
I'll be back tomorrow with my 2007 Awards Show.
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“I can play in the center, on the right, and occasionally on the left side.” – soccer star David Beckham, asked if he was a “volatile” player.
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