...and in right field, for the future, ladies and gentlemen we give you THE LOLLIPOP KID: RRRRRRIIIIICCCKKKKK AAANNNNKIEl! Somebody call Sports Illustrated and tell them their Ankiel-O-Meter just exploded like Barry Bonds' head. Somebody call the Cubs front office and tell them we've got a new weapon, tell them that, unlike their sorry organization, we know what to do with our pitching prospects when they suck on the mound. Call the commissioner and tell him he needs to be in St. Louis watching a real athlete do incredible things, not a fat, overweight, big-headed, steroid using slug hit long balls with a fungo bat. In St. Louis (post-McGwire era), we know how to play real baseball. And Rick Ankiel, sports fans, is the best thing to happen to St. Louis since Bartman pissed Moisture Aloe off.
Seriously, we're running out of time. But from my seat out west I think Ankiel makes up 4 of the 6 games himself. The CoRockies are taking care of business against the sorry Cubbies in the seventh (not that we're worried about the Cubs). And, like I've been saying all along, the Brewers are destined for a colossal collapse. It'll happen.
The Birds have a long way to go, but the Lollipop Kid is a reason to get excited about being at Busch Stadium again. As for me, I've worked out a deal with the Durango Joes coffee company across the street from my crib that allows me to borrow one of their laptops with high speed wifi each evening so I can listen to Shannon's voice take us into the playoffs right from the comfort of my front yard hammock.
Not all of you have it as nice as me, but at least you can still go to Busch. When you get there, if Jack Clark is sitting in your seat, kick his ass out. And make him buy you a Budweiser. And let him know that he's been terrible for me in Nintendo's RBI baseball all season long. He's batting a measly .246 with 13 homers. You gotta expect more out of Jack Clark.
What's your thoughts on Ankiel? Is he the real deal or is another Anthony Reyes?
Get real people. We're going to the playoffs.
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2 comments:
I don't think he is going to hit two home runs a game but he is going to add some excitement. I plan to watch today only because of him. As for the team, they are actually pretty bad. If they win this thing the whole division might need some steroids. I'm not going to the game but if I was and if Jack Clark was sitting in my seat I would buy HIM a Budweiser and let him stay in my seat. I can still see his shot off of Niedenfuer many years ago in the playoffs. It is in the top 10 of my many Cardinal highlights. The reason he is not doing good in your RBI league is the fact that he is 50 years old. I would trade him for Ankiel.
He had a pretty good day today.
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