Your weekly, quick-witted two minutes of fun starts RIGHT NOW.
*Starring the Cardinals' bullpen as "Are you Kidding me?"
*The St. Louis Blues hockey squad as "Oh, Lordy!"
*St. Louis Ram's Football as "God is Good, God is Great."
*MISSOURI FOOTBALL as "Not Just Another Missouri Sports Ho-Hum Losing Team"
Co-Starring
*The New York Yankees as "The Worst Team an owner can buy."
With your Host: Mr. Daaaaaaaaaaaavvvid UNTERreiner
Hey, hey, happy to be here with all of you today on this chilly, but lovely Thursday afternoon in the midwest of this great state of Missouri. Tonight, ladies and gentlemen, tonight the St. Louis Cardinals will begin their quest for the NLCS title after last night's rainout. For a couple thoughts on the game, let's shoot it over to my good buddy and St. Louis Cardinal's fanatic: Paul Dobbs.
"Well, Dave, to be honest with you I think are chances are a lot better than most people think coming into this series. Our starting pitching matches up, and may even be better than the Mets, and I never thought I would say this about a St. Louis Cardinals team BUT if you can get the game to the bullpen then you might as well say goodnight, kiss your lady on the cheek, and pull the covers up, because IT'S OVER!!!"
Thank you very much Paul. But you're forgetting one thing in all your excitement, THE MET'S LINEUP.
Let's stay on a high note here before we start talking about Danny Hinote (no pun intented) and the St. Louis Blues. We're talking Rams football now with St. Louis football expert, Andy Arnzen. And Andy, I don't think I'm the only one excited about the Seahawks coming to town on Sunday and the possibility of the Cardinals completing the sweep of the Mets to get into the World Series on the same day. Your thoughts:
"Well, Dave, you're not the only one excited that's for sure. I like the way the Cardinals shape up against the Mets also but I do fear that lineup. One person that doesn't scare me however is Carlos Beltran. Now, lets get down to talking about real sports now. And I mean football. This weekend a certain team from a certain city, yes that's right: DA RAMS, will be playing host to the Seattle Seahawks. I'll keep it short and simple Dave, since we only have two minutes here. My prediction is Rams 56, Seahawks 11. Hasselbeck fumbles 6 times inside the red zone. Rams roll."
Thank you Andy for that insight. Bold prediction if I do say so myself. But I do agree that after Sunday the Rams will improve to 5-1 while the Shaun Alexander-less Seahawks will fall to 3-2.
OK, sticking to the theme of St. Louis sports, it's in my humble regret that we must mention that the Blues are not off to the start I thought they would be. However, I did warn you about this. So what's gone wrong, if anything, in the Blues organization? We call in East St. Louis native Jeff Farhner for observation:
"Basically, we look like a bunch of kids out there who have been misguided by their parentals. To boot, three of the top four defensemen are already out with injuries. The bottom line is simple: we have to get our heads out of our butts and play hockey."
Enough said about that.
M-I-Z-Z-O-U R-A-H!!!!
Ok, 6-0. So I promised you a blog if the Tigers started 6-0. I've decided to wait until we start
7-0 by beating another Texas team in Texas this weekend. They have my support, I'm on the bandwagon, I will be watching this weekend, and I don't like Texas. Go Tigers!!! More to come next week. That's a promise.
And last but not least: The New York Yankees. Despite all my desires to bash and criticize another failing Yankee team and to laugh out loud at "The Boss's" ignorance, I must put this ego aside and say simply that losing a teammate (Cory Lidle) is far more important and significant than any baseball game ever. My hat gets tipped to not only his teammates in New York but all of his teammates anywhere he played from preschool all the way to the big leagues. Best wishes to the Lidle family, and to all families who have lost loved ones.
Disclaimer: *This was longer than two minutes. Sorry. But you still had fun.
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5 comments:
Sitting high atop the Missouri River and getting ready to watch the Cards beat the Mets, I did indeed have fun reading your 2 minutes. A certain lady that is pretty fond of you enjoyed it also.
Is it safe to say that Carlos Beltran eats Cardinals pitching up. Come on birds, lets get'em back.
6 minutes, 17 seconds. 14th grade reading scale.
David, great job on the blog. Your two minutes of fun is the best weekly column since David Wilson. I admire your ability to use horrific grammar and turn a web blog into broadcasted interview. Unlike the Rams game this weekend (which Arnzen predicted to be a 56-11 St. Louis win), at least the outcome of tonight's Cardinals game is still in question. What's with Carlos Belt-a-homer-ran dismantling the Cards every year? Do you have an explanation for this? The guy drove a knee-high pitch 500 feet last night. That is absurd. My prediction: Cards go up 2-1 before letting NY climb back to a 3-2 lead. StL then ties it at 3 apiece ... and the rest is still unwritten. Thanks for the inspiration, NaTasha Bedingfield.
How bout them birds last night!!! So freakin' Taguchi is my hero. I would probably give So a big kiss on the lips if I were to run into him on the street. Thatababy number 99. Is it safe to say that Suppan is going to mow them down tonight, Reyes will get it done Sunday, and Weaver will do what he has to do to close this thing out in the STL?
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